Is this marriage over?

My husband and I have completely different parenting ideas. Mine are practical and most will agree with my methods. His are well there are none. We have two children at home my son is 15 and his daughter is 11. The problem is she lies cheats and steals and never gets into trouble. He does nothing about it. We have fought over this for 6 months always telling me her will try and never does anything. She gets away with everything. Do you think I should put up with it to save my marriage. She has already given me an anxiety attack once. We have been together for 8 years married for 5 1/2. HELP
He will not let me punish. I have to sit back and see her get in no trouble.
We have also tried counceling and he said they were just on my side. And she throw it in my face that I wasted my money on counceling

Children desperately wish to know where the boundaries are in their household…. and they do indeed wish boundaries, even though they may tell you that they find them “unfair” (fair is what ya want”)

And the worst of all households in which to grow up is where the boundaries are constantly shifting…. the kid never really knows any limits, since they change….one parent says one thing, the other something entirely different.

Hon, you poor kids have had 8 years of this… and sadly the first years of any persons life are the most important.

edit: Of course the counselors were on your side. The readily see the problem, just as anyone counselor would!!!!! To do nothing on your husband’s part is far easier. It takes effort to parent. All he did was be the sperm donor. Anything more never crossed the poor man’s mind.

I”m sorry for you hon. He’s a real jerk, from this posting. (whatever did you see in such a guy??)

And no, counseling will never work if he’s going to make sure it doesn’t…will it?

There is no hope for these children to be productive citizens unless all of you get into family counseling. What you have is a dysfunctional family. Those aren’t easily, nor quickly fixed…

Rather like trying to straighten a tree now 15 feet high, that has trunk bent in for or five places….. tuff order.

So the decision is rather yours. continue this way which isn’t working, and thus will turn out two kids unable to cope with a society that DOES have boundaries, rules and consequences, and let them pay for the learning them on their own time, in for forms of bad marriages, bad legal choices, bad jobs and bad education, producing children of their own with these exact same identical problems, and be rid of them,

OR help then now by all of you getting into family counseling, and you and he learn as parents the rules of tuff love. You need to educate your selves in the process of parenting, before you can help them become all they can be.

What you are about to face is not easy. And lots of parents in your place simply don’t bother… the son is 15, so He’s gone in 3 years or so, and the daughter is gone in only seven. Lots of ineffective parents simply put up with this until they leave… and our credit system takes them, our jails harbor them, drug dealers use them, pimps run their lives…. these are the kids who make up the low lifes in our society….. so to change this future???? rather your choice.

Edit: And since he isn’t interested, hon, I’d get my kid outa there, and leave, and be a parent…..

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