How do you break the connection between sex, deceit, and danger?

I have some very negative associations in connection with sex. I am a perfectly straight man, but sex and relationships with women have been anything but normal. I know social anxiety is definitely a part of it, but on too many occasions sex has been used as a weapon against me. If a woman is showing interest in me, I immediate think she is out to use me then throw me away. There isn’t much that scares me more than sex.

I can totally identify with your situation, except that I am female and have experienced what you’ve gone through. Sex used to terrify me (sometimes it still does and I’m married!) but it had gotten so much better ever since I starting working on my trust issues with people. I wouldnt suggest having casual sex. I would say that if anything, wait to have sex until you’ve established a good personal relationship with someone you’re interested in. Once you can see that you can trust that person, then you can move to the next step. You may even consider telling her what’s going on…if she really cares, she’ll understand and help you through it.

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