Anxiety Dopamine
Sadism and Self Consciousness any advice?
I feel I’m an extreme sadism at times, I’m aroused by things that disgust me once I get out of my high. I’ve always had control issues in my life, hence my anxiety disorder. I use sexual fantasies to help raise the dopamine and seratonin levels in my head, and end up having thoughts that disgust me later, I often find myself feeling ashamed of myself in public, I blush when I notice people I’ve fantasized about. I can’t help but feel like I’m a piece of filth who doesn’t deserve the company I have. I never act on the fantasies I have, I try and help others all I can, but I keep feeling sick, like I’m some monster who needs to be locked up.
So, does anyone know how I can start to forgive myself, or learn to live with this and help separate these thoughts from my actions and know who I am?
And does anyone else have history with sadism, anxiety or control issues, and how did you handle it?
And if you read through all this, thank you, you’ve earned my respect.
Buddy, I think you should visit a professional to get help. As bad as it may sound professionals can help you a great deal. Talking with someone about your issues is a good way to start (or something like that)
Our Tics Story Part II
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