How serious are college application essays supposed to be?

This is probably a dumb question with an obvious answer, but I’m straddling the border between sleep deprived mess and full on anxiety attack. How “serious” (as in tone, content, etc) are college app essays supposed to be? I tend to skew toward the more quirky, overly verbose, sarcastic side in my essays and I’m pretty sure every college admission person is going to read the first sentence, decide I’m not taking the prompt seriously, and chunk my essay, along with my dreams, in the dingy trash can with the rest of the rejects. Help is greatly appreciated!

i’ve heard opposing viewpoints on the issues and will try to clarify the situation. Usually if you are applying to a very high ranked school if you just talk about grades and all you accomplished it is not good because the people there have done more. My friend got into Harvard by being brutally honest and actually cursing in the esaay (he used asterisks in place of the word). Just be honest and tell who you are.

Casting All Your Anxiety (The Way 74 -Photo Essay by Rev.Dr.Jaerock Lee)

Bernstein Conducts Bernstein $27.99 …

A Total Embrace: The Composer $7.83 …

An American Life: Music from the Radio Documentary $1.06 …

How to Become Smarter $0.99 This text describes techniques for improving mental abilities. Some of the things it can help you to achieve include the following: Depending on circumstances, use different lifestyles that improve one or another mental function.Experience euphoria without drugs and come up with new ideas, when needed.Slow down and prevent yourself from making rash, impulsive decisions, when necessary.Sharpen your…

Generation Me: Why Today’s Young Americans Are More Confident, Assertive, Entitled–and More Miserable Than Ever Before $8.94 PB in good condition no writing/highlight thru out pages….

Shut Up: We All Have Issues $1.99 This book is one man’s quest to rid himself of all his psychological demons by exorcising them with self-deprecating humor.By day, Corey Deitz is a radio personality. By night, he’s just another poor, neurotic slob curling up in a fetal position and sobbing like a little girl in the corner of a room. Deitz has issues and doesn’t mind putting them on display in the hopes the reader will realize in …