Depression, mid-life crisis or am I just going mad?

I’m hoping someone can help me. I am 43, am a professional, I lead a group of about 50 people at work, make very good money. My work is somewhat demandng, but I used to love it. I have a wife who is caring and understanding. We’ve been married for 12 years and have a 4 year old son. I have a nice sports car. I feel like I should be very happy with where I am. But yet, I have recently had to start taking anti-anxiety pills (I forget the names – one that works very quickly for several hours when needed, and the other a daily pill I have to take). I feel unhappy about what I accomplish at work. At home, I feel sort of empty and incomplete. I don’t feel like talking to my wife. I feel like I want to go to bed as soon as I get home even if I get home early. I’ve also recently started to go to strip clubs often, drinking a lot and spending a LOT of money. I don’t know what is wrong with me. I used to be goal oriented, happy guy. I feel like I’m just going crazy and I don’t understand it.

You should always rule out any medical causes first, but it sounds like the beginnings of a classic midlife transition – which can include depression and going mad! (Take it from somebody who is going through it too.) Emptiness, meaninglessness, mood problems, and new uncaracteristic behaviors in your forties are all signs that you likely are heading into the midlife transition phase. If you do it consciously – that is, read about it, get counseling for it, and and try to avoid impulsive behaviors that can really mess things up, then you will be ahead of the pack. For bare bones starters, try this book: Mark Gerzon’s Listening to Midlife. And try this website: http://psychologytoday.com/conditions/mid-life.html

I think you will find there are a broad range of ways to experience this, and various ages at which it begins, and various months/years it can last. It can be tough, but if you handle it consciously, it will utlimately take you on a journey to becoming the person you were meant to be. Good luck!

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