How do I deal with my partners anxiety attacks?
2 May 2010
2 Comments
Brian asked:
I don’t know what to do when my partner starts to have anxiety attacks. Just like him I feel helpless and I get angry. When he says he’s scared, feeling like his heart is fluttering I don’t know what to say or do except hold him and say it’s going to be ok. Sometimes it gets irritating and I want to leave. How do I deal with his sudden changes in behavior?
I don’t know what to do when my partner starts to have anxiety attacks. Just like him I feel helpless and I get angry. When he says he’s scared, feeling like his heart is fluttering I don’t know what to say or do except hold him and say it’s going to be ok. Sometimes it gets irritating and I want to leave. How do I deal with his sudden changes in behavior?
You’re doing a great job, but only your partner can work on his problem. Panic attacks might seem like an insurmountable problem, but there are great treatments out there that can eliminate them. I’d recommend two books for your partner:
“Panic Attacks Workbook”
and
“When Panic Attacks”
They should be on Amazon and also any major bookstore. Good luck!
Hi Brian! You sound like a great friend in that you are wanting to respond to your partner in the best manner possible to help.
I struggled with anxiety for years & my husband stood by as a good support to me. Here are a few tips that really helped me:
1. Know that the anxiety attacks are not in your partners control
2. Anxiety attacks are generally IRRATIONAL fears
3. Talk your partner through them
4. Do not belittle your partner during or after the attack
I used to really struggle with going to the doctor & having blood work done. So while we were expecting our now 8-year-old son, I would drive to the doctor, with my husband as the passenger. (Usually he would drive while I was the passenger.) Now this doesn’t seem like anything big, however… we discovered that if I drove to the doctor, I had to concentrate on driving rather than sitting as an idle passenger ruminating on how I was going to have to have blood work done & working myself into a frenzy.
Not sure when anxiety attacks enter in, but have your partner work his way through them if at all possible– continue in his routine.
Hope this makes sense & hope it helps!
Best of Luck!
Christine
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