3 Comments »

Ɍeɢɑɳ said:
You need to work with yourself first then develop. I know people who went on to have good, strong relationships. It just took some time. You will meet someone at some point. Confidence is the key, you can do it.
# 19 July 2010 at 4:53 pm

Anthrax Cookie said:
It sounds corny, but self-confidence really is the key to success, at least in a situation like this. You need to go to a bar/mall/store/park, and just start a conversation with someone who seems nice. Don’t worry how they’ll respond, or if they “want to know you”, just do it. The prospect of starting a conversation with a total stranger may seem ominous or insurmountable, and you may instinctively say “but I could never do that!”. Just do it. Throw caution to the wind, and start a conversation. Once you’re in the conversation, you’ll find that it’s really not that hard, and the next time you try it’ll be a little bit easier.
# 22 July 2010 at 5:30 am

Pico said:
My anxiety never kept me from having a boyfriend because I wasn’t as effected in a one on one situation. If there was more than one person within listening distance then forget it. I would suddenly clam up, have no idea what to say and feel like an idiot. It definitely made it more difficult to meet guys but I just had to learn ways to adapt and get around it.
If there was a guy I wanted to talk to, I’d have to track him down when he was alone and create some sort of reason to ‘have’ to interact with him. I mean, I’d try even the lamest things like dropping something near him when he walked by. If he stepped right over it and kept walking, I’d know he probably wasn’t interested anyway.
If a guy is interested in you, he’ll take almost any available opportunity to speak to you so, in reality, you don’t actually have to try that hard. It’s pretty easy to catch the vibe that someone may be interested if you watch them and look for subtle clues. Then all you have to do is create more situations where you are near them and wait. It can be a long and drawn out process but it can work if you are too afraid to be up front and make the first move. I know that once I sensed that a guy might be interested, a lot of my anxiety over the situation went away because there’s less of the fear of being rejected.
After years of doing that, I finally got comfortable approaching guys. I have no problem with it at all now. I still have a lot of anxiety in groups (male or female) and tend to stay pretty quiet though.
# 23 July 2010 at 6:28 am

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