invitro asked:


I’ve been previously diagnosed as having generalized anxiety disorder and social phobia, but I think this (seemingly stronger) diagnosis of “avoidant personality disorder” fits me to a tee. From the diagnostic criteria listed on wiki:

> Avoids occupational activities that involve significant interpersonal contact, because of fears of criticism, disapproval, or rejection

I definitely avoid all such activities that I can.

> Is unwilling to get involved with people unless certain of being liked

I suppose this is accurate. I am certain I will not be liked, thus I am sure that attempting to “get involved with people” is something I should not do.

(running out of characters… more coming.)

oh,

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidant_personality_disorder

> Shows restraint within intimate relationships because of the fear of being shamed or ridiculed

Irrelevant, as I have no intimate relationships.

> Is preoccupied with being criticized or rejected in social situations

I am certain I will be rejected in all social situations. Does this count as “preoccupied?”

> Is inhibited in new interpersonal situations because of feelings of inadequacy

I am certain I am inadequate; thus inhibition seems like the logical way to act.

> Views self as socially inept, personally unappealing, or inferior to others

Heh. This is where I question psychology. Sure, I view myself as all of these, but it’s also a *fact* that I am socially inept, personally unappealing, and inferior (socially) to others. Why does the definition focus on “views self as” rather than “self is”?
and the 7th:

> Is unusually reluctant to take personal risks or to engage in any new activities because they may prove embarrassing

This is actually two things. I suppose I am reluctant to take “personal risks” because I know they will be doomed to failure (which I can handle) but also a cause of disruption in the things-I-have-to-do (which I can’t handle).

I embarrass myself daily (hourly?), so I can’t say that I do not engage in new activities for that reason. Well, ok, new activities would be even more embarrassing, but I’m just trying to keep alive here.
jeepwife4ever: my work is graduate school; I’m a first-year Ph.D. student. So yes, I sort of interact with some people, but I know they all feel icky around me. Except for a couple of profs that are nice to me.

SidTheKid: no, I’m not simply shy. I wish that were the case, as I’ve seen today that shyness does almost no harm to life; in particular, it is possible for a shy person to be liked by other people and actually have a gf/bf, while this is not possible for me.

Yeah, I suppose I’m a very-messed-up sad sack and should probably shoot myself, but I’m not gonna do that.
Oh, I am going to see a therapist as soon as I can make an appointment with one in the new city where I live. So… I know I need to see a therapist and I’m going to do that. I’ve seen therapists for about 10 years and I suppose the last one was helpful, as I managed to graduate with an MS degree in math in a relatively short amount of time.

I’m also curious if I should be taking different medications. I’m currently taking Paxil and Klonopin. I would say I’ve taken about every anti-anxiety and anti-depression drug, but an acquaintance told me about one I hadn’t heard of yesterday, so this is not the case.