Am I just stupid or is there something else wrong with me?

I enjoy reading, but I suck very much at it. I am 17 years old and I am literate. I suffer from the disorders Asperger’s Syndrome Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, and Major Depressive Disorder, if any of that matters. I simply struggle so much to read novels (i.e. memoirs, fiction, mystery, etc.), but less so with reference books (i.e. atlases, encyclopedias, etc.). Of all the novels I have ever read, I’ve clearly understood about 5 of them, out of about 30. They are A Thousand Splendid Suns, Inside the Kingdom, The Russian Concubine, Mayada, and Angeline. What is wrong with me? Why am I the only person who struggles with novels? Am I just stupid or is there something wrong with me?

I know a few people with Asperger’s Syndrome. From what I understand, (and please, correct me if I misunderstand, all I know is what I’ve heard) it is an autism spectrum disorder. People with Asperger’s tend to be extremely intelligent, (often rating up there in the genius level), antisocial, disliking authority, and liking everything in order. My first question would be, who diagnosed you with the OCD and Social Anxiety? Traits of those could easily be attributed TO Aspergers, not as separate disorders.

Secondly, I would have to say the people I know with Aspergers DO tend to stick to ‘factual” books, or studies. Although, when they do examine the world of fiction, they tend to do it to the extreme, treating it as if it IS real, and analyzing it. It’s actually kind of cool. (One friend read a book on zombies for fun…. and now has an entire plan as to how to defend their home from Zombies in case of an attack… it will never happen as they are not real, but it was a fun activity for him…) Understand where I’m coming from?

It could be that because of your higher intelligence, some part of your mind just does not tolerate fiction. Have you tried reading novels based on reality, historical novels, etc? You might be able to tolerate them better, if there is some basis of reality within them, and then work out from there. James A. Michener is a great author for such novels. I’ve read several of them, and I found the factual stuff within really added a lot to the story.

Good luck, I hope everything works out for you.

Mind Games: Prozac, Depression, and the Mind

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