social anxiety?
6 May 2010
11 Comments
Joho asked:
im 15 and I suffer from social anxiety. I start to break a out in a cold sweat and get nervous in places such like malls and in hallways. I rather stay at home instead of partying. I sometimes tihnk about my parents dying cause they’re close to 60. I battled depression and self esteem problems all my life. I was bullied when I was small and some people I know used to steal form me and talk behind my back. I have no close friends. I will be moving to germany next year to live with realtives. I have a hard time getting close to people and if I do I manage to screw it up. Im a very social guy and have many friends but I never had someone to relie one. I want to control my anxiety. can u help me
im 15 and I suffer from social anxiety. I start to break a out in a cold sweat and get nervous in places such like malls and in hallways. I rather stay at home instead of partying. I sometimes tihnk about my parents dying cause they’re close to 60. I battled depression and self esteem problems all my life. I was bullied when I was small and some people I know used to steal form me and talk behind my back. I have no close friends. I will be moving to germany next year to live with realtives. I have a hard time getting close to people and if I do I manage to screw it up. Im a very social guy and have many friends but I never had someone to relie one. I want to control my anxiety. can u help me
You need to see a therapist.
look, theres always going to be that jerk that said he was ur friend , but then dumps a mean one behind ur back. u being anxious is ok, u being controlled by ur anxiety is not. if u let ur anxiety controll u from being urself or having fun, then ur just accepting defeat. take ur life one day at a time, today, not when ur parents are going to die, which be for awhile. ur probably a great guy, and people will discover that, u just have to wait, pray, and somehow find that inner confidence in you, that maybe you knew. u shouldnt let other peoples problems with you become ur problem too.
if you honestly think you have a problem, go see a psychiatrist.
there’s a thing called social anxiety disorder, my mom has it.
so for the people telling you to get over it, and to control your anxiety.. that may not be an option for you without medication or some sort of treatment.
15 is peak time for those feelings. you havent been around long enough to realize how little of what you do now, really matters. The only thing that will follow through to the rest of your life is the attention you pay to your education. you need to focus on that above everything.
Being cool only gets you cool friends who are generally fickle and go whichever way the wind blows. They come and go. The right kind of friends will come along if you are just nice to people.
You have older parents (for your age) so it is natural (if sad)to think of them passing on. For that reason you have to enjoy the time you have with them and spend quality time with them. Also prepare yourself for the time they are no longer there. ie plan for your future.
Include your parents and ask their advice. Making a plan and preparing for the unexpected will help alleviate a lot of anxiety in your life. it will help your parents be more at ease too once they see you are all set to start your adult life when the time comes.
OK so you are introverted. you prefer to avoid large gatherings in favor of smaller intimate groups. no biggie. just be honest about that and you will find a lot of people feel the same.
Worrying helps nothing
Change things that you can change.
dont waste time and energy worrying about things you CAN’T
Hi, Joho.
I’ll be turning 50 this year (AGGH!) and I’ve been through many of the same problems you describe. I, too, try to avoid large crowds of people because I become very nervous. Until I sought professional help for my depression, I, too, would remain at home and hardly ever go to a place where I knew there would be a lot of people. I was bullied all through elementary and junior high schools because I was fat (I’ve lost 50 lbs. since then, mostly from anxiety. When I meet someone who hasn’t seen me for years, they often ask, “Wow, Ive been trying to lose weight for years. How did you do it!” I just tell them, “You wouldn’t want to try it.”
I had had only one close friend all through school and, when my family moved from New Jersey to Virginia 13 years ago, I was afraid I’d lose touch with him. However, we keep in touch via telephone and the Internet.
The thing that really surprised me, though, was that I actually made some new friends here in Virginia. Two of them, a woman and her daughter, have become very close friends. The woman is divorced and going through tough times financially. While I can’t help her with money, I try to allay her anxieties just by being there when she wants to talk to someone.
Her daughter, whom her mother and I just found out had been sexually abused by her father, is a caring, beautiful girl.
The three of us often get together just to talk. If one of us has a problem, the other two will try to comfort him/her and we all feel better afterwards.
Now, this might sound like a commercial, but one thing I found to help control my fear of being around a lot of people and actually talking to them was taking the Dale Carnegie course in public speaking. There, there is a totally non-threatening environment where the instructors encourage students to support each other. At first, I didn’t think I’d last through two or three classes, but I finished the course and ended up becoming a graduate-assistant (a person who has completed the course and assists new students in the next series of classes).
Please let me know if any of this helps, and good luck!
Mark
There are medication that will help deal with it. Also you an meditate and that will help. I have one that I use, and I got it from a lot of sources, so feel free to change it a bit to fit you. simple meditation. This is a basic form of what I do. It’s a mix of different types. It’s a powerful tool you really need. First choose your mantra. This is a word of power, love, and life. I chose, “God”, as I intend to be infused with, and maintain His spirit until next time. You can use any word, or short sentence meaningful to you. Another example of a good mantra is the word Love. I can’t imagine using another mantra now, so take time with this. When you have it, get comfy. Use whatever position you fancy. Then deliberately go through every, single, tiny muscle in your entire body, (even the tiniest ones in your face), relaxing and filling each one with a protective, loving, healing white light from God. Do this while repeating your mantra silently. When you are completely relaxed and full of light, including your insides. Your body will be like it’s asleep, while your mind is wide awake. This can open you to spiritual contact. This is what makes the next action very important. Surround yourself with protective white light. I like to make all my white light sparkle & shimmer. Try not to think of anything except your mantra, and the sparkling white light. After this there are some variations you can try. Later. Sounds simple, but it’s not, it takes a great deal of commitment, determination, and concentration. Do this at the same time everyday.
Blessed Be
i’ve had problems with social anxiety – what helped me was meditation. Visit – they have an excellent online meditation tutorial. Try this meditation twice a day – 15 min. each session – you will see improvements – they also have free meditation classes throughout the US and Canada you can check out.
Your symptoms are almost exact to what I suffered with when I was around the same age. Part of it is adolescence. I’ve become less nervous with age. When I was going through it on a daily basis, I sought help from a psychiatrist and a psychologist. I was on meds for awhile and they basically showed me that I could do the things I was afraid of. The psychologist was a wonderful help because I didn’t ever have anyone I trusted to talk to either. Plus, they are objective and will never put you down, which is a big reason why people become more and more introverted.
go and see a docter.be happy.enjoy music and do yoga u wil be ok. be confidant in doing every thing.your the best friend for ur self but u need friends . take care,all the best. dont lose heart.
oh, sweetie! You are JUST LIKE ME. please go see a doctor. tell them what you wrote here. they will prescribe you something that will make it go away almost completely.
Ok heres how never to worry. There are only two types of problems in life. Those you can solve and those you cant or have no control over. Now If what your worried about is the first kind then stop being a dumb ass and go fix/solve/sort out whatever it is. If its the second kind. Well no matter what you do, its going to happen anyway, you have no control over it, so worryings a waste of time!
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