How do I overcome separation anxiety?

I’ve just recently been thru a break up and I developed a mild case of separation anxiety because of it. I know separation anxiety is mostly associated with kids, but I think I got it since I was a kid when my parents separated and I had to live without them. Ever since I’ve had trouble with change and with letting go. After the break up, I panic every time someone leaves me or when I know I’ll be alone even for a short time. Is there a cure?

doing things to boost your self confidence. Anything that has to do with fear of being alone, or fear of being around people generally has to do with a lack of confidence.

That would make sense in your case, seeing as how being without your parents after their divorce would definitely strip whatever self confidence you had.

I would start with finding something you enjoy doing. drawing, art, poetry, dancing, sewing, whatever. Do those things on a regular basis, as ‘you’ time.

Also, keep a journal. Instead of slipping into panic mode whenever you are alone, pull out your note book and write whatever youre feeling, writing things down gives you a better chance to deal with them. It clears your mind and gives you better perspective.

Also, you need a routine, this is the most basic of things you can do for yourself. That routine needs to include some sort of exercise, even if its just a walk around the block. Find something that works for you, so that all of your free time has an activity. This doesnt mean that you never break from it, but when things like break ups occure you can fall back on your routine.

Make sure you have something for your bed time too, either writing in your journal, sketching for a few minutes, or reading a book. Be sure to do those things even when you’re in a relationship.

You need consistancy, and you need to realize that you function just as well on your own as you do in the company of another.

I would also advise staying out of a relationship until you get some couseling, or until you can allow yourself to love someone because they need you, not because you need them in order to be happy. Right now, your insecurities cause you to search for safety and purpose in the affection of a boyfriend, you need that love and attention in order to feel validated.

its not healthy for you or your relationships. You need to learn to be independant before you can learn to be plural. Otherwise all your relationships will end with you in panic mode.

Insecurity is normal, but dealing with it is still needed. And you can do it, anyone can, its just a matter or allowing yourself to believe that you’re okay. Your life does go on, and you can be happy in any situation. you’ll get there

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