What are some key differences between shyness and social anxiety?
12 May 2010
7 Comments
Sarah asked:
Ever since I was a child I’ve been the quiet non-social type. Even today at the age of 21 I only have a couple close friends and am extremely shy. I often wonder if it’s social anxiety or just simply extreme shyness. It’s hard for me to initiate conversations with people, I hate when people compliment me sometimes, I feel awkward sometimes in public. I try to get out on weekends, but mostly by myself or with just one friend.
Ever since I was a child I’ve been the quiet non-social type. Even today at the age of 21 I only have a couple close friends and am extremely shy. I often wonder if it’s social anxiety or just simply extreme shyness. It’s hard for me to initiate conversations with people, I hate when people compliment me sometimes, I feel awkward sometimes in public. I try to get out on weekends, but mostly by myself or with just one friend.
I also suffer from panic attacks from time to time, but is rarely initiated from social situations
shy is not knowing what to say or how to say it
social anxiety is not wanting to say anything or be around anyone at all
I don’t know if there’s a better clinical explanation, but to me shyness is just one way of avoiding social anxiety. Shyness is more of a personal trait of yours, whereas anxiety can be seen as more of a condition.
There’s a lot of things that can make you shy or at least appear to be. Most of the time I think it all just branches from being very self-conscious. If you worry about how you look, how you come off, how you sound, you will be very uncomfortable in any social situation.
But if you do feel really nervous talking to people or even just being around them you probably have some kind of anxiety. I used to be like this. I’m more comfortable but I’m still bad at conversation. Anxiety is something you can really feel. You need to just put yourself out there to know. I personally don’t think it’s too relevant to know if it’s anxiety. The most you can get from that diagnosis is some pills, and I honestly think those do more harm than good.
It takes time and practice really to get over it. I don’t see it as being too much of a problem. If you have some friends and you’re happy with them, that’s great. I think too many friends can just a hassle. It’s the really good ones that count, and those are few. If you are having non-related panic attacks then that is something else, but still important to look at.
social anxiety is like getting anxious and overwhelmed at the thought of being around people. where shyness is when you are sometimes hesitant to say what you want, you feel weird receiving compliments because attention is on you and you don’t know what to say or do. i think you are a shy person. but that’s not a bad thing. you should try small things like say ‘thank you’ when someone compliments you, they won’t analyze what you say if you say that…
I have almost the same situation. I’m a quiet type of person, I’m not shy, but feel uncomfortable talking with strangers and some people I don’t know much. I’m talkative only when I’m with all my closed friends and family. I prefer to stay home on the weekends. I feel extremely nervious during job interviews. However, these problems appear off and on depending on what group of fds I hang around. This feeling comes out especially when the times I’m unemployed.
It sounds to be that you are just shy. Judging from what you wrote you do not meet the diagnostic criteria for social anxiety. Social anxiety is a persistant fear of social situations, extreme anxiety when in a social situation, and an avoidance of social situations.
I am a shy person too, butit usually gets better with age. I still have no desire to initiate conversations, but can definitely carry one. You may become more social as you age and if not, that’s okay too. If they world was full of outgoing people it would be chaos!
)
hey Sarah
I think and it’s only my opinion that your are a shy person, and that social anxiety is a name used to classify it at times often followed by a prescription. look you are what you are, I’m sure you can function just fine at work or school, and probably find yourself longing for your time alone whitch in my opinon is totally fine. To cut to it. be shy and be happy.
Social anxiety is a very common condition that millions of adults suffer from (as well as children). I suffered from social anxiety for many years, though it has gotten much better over the last three. Being the quiet type doesn’t mean that you are socially anxious by definition, however, the reasons that you are the quiet type may be due more to social anxiety than you think. Panic attacks are not a definite sign of anxiety issues, but they very well could be.
You describe yourself as being extremely shy. You have had panic attacks in social situations. You feel awkward in public. These are all signs that point to anxiety issues. As far as the difference between shyness and social anxiety, one is a symptom, the other a condition. Being shy does not mean that you are experiencing social anxiety, but with all else you described, that is what it sounds like to me. The good news is, there have been many great books written on the subject that helped me a great deal. The most important thing I got from any of them, was to never let fear win. Everyone feels fear, but if that fear prevents you from doing things that you might otherwise do, then that is something you should look into. Lucinda Bassett has written many great books on the subject. That is where I would start. Best of luck to you!
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