What form of psychotherapy is best for social anxiety?
24 July 2010
5 Comments
Henry asked:
I’m currently seeing a humanistic therapist for my social anxiety/depression, but it doesn’t seem to be very effective. i still have difficulties with making eye contact and producing quicker responses to questions.. considering this it seems that I need a more directive approach to therapy. what forms of therapy would you suggest as being best or at least a lot better than humanistic therapy for treating SA?
I’m currently seeing a humanistic therapist for my social anxiety/depression, but it doesn’t seem to be very effective. i still have difficulties with making eye contact and producing quicker responses to questions.. considering this it seems that I need a more directive approach to therapy. what forms of therapy would you suggest as being best or at least a lot better than humanistic therapy for treating SA?
That is what it is…. psychotherapy. You answered your own question
Removing illegitimate desire from our mind and also avoiding ‘anger’ which comes when the desire is not fulfilled – these two things will solve any anxiety.
I went to psychotherapy for my anxiety problems, it was a waste of money, I spent thousands of dollars and still had the same problems! My friend Jenny told me about a book she used, it focuses on breathing and stretching techniques, I was skeptical but now I am cured. When you control your breathing you can control everything!
I think sticking with humanistic would work well. It has the best balance between science and mind. I guess I would suggest cognitive behavioral if you absolutely must switch.
Hmm I have had all of your symptoms of what you have mentioned on your question. I have tried many methods, read a lot, experienced a lot, so try to read my answer;
First off the root of anxiety, shyness, nervousness, and so forth are from fear. When the mind is afraid then the body will get the messages, so then the body will turn tensed, rigid, have fast heart beats, ect.
My strategy to go against fear is this;
Now when your in a fearful situation such as being around people, well I want you to imagine every negative or positive outcome that may happen to you when your in a fearful situation and just “let it happen” instead of “preventing” it. When you try to prevent these outcomes made up in your mind, you create a barrier of fear, which makes your body turn tensed and rigid. Think about this though has fear ever benefited you in your whole life? Or has it instead made your situation worse by making your body turn tensed and rigid?
You are human, you are certainly going to die in this lifetime and so is everyone else. So “try” to “enjoy” every moment you can living, instead of living in “fear”. You can possibly die next week, next month or maybe in the next 2 years.
Okay next off with building self-confidence in yourself and to be around people see this;
We are all human and we ALL have good and bad qualities. There is no existing human that is perfect. We are all ordinary and equal. Our skin holds our flesh and bones together, we have a brain, heart, liver, lung, ears, nose, mouth. What makes us different from each other really? In reality we are all equal and the same.
Now you say you want to make friends right?
Well go and just talk to people! How?
“You won’t know until you try”
“Don’t doubt, attempt, make mistakes, learn, move forward, live”
You won’t know if a person you want to be friends with will be able to relate with you and would hang out with you until you yourself start talking to them in a friendly manner. Holding a decision is like making a delay, does it ever help? Don’t be afraid to make mistakes, humans make mistakes ALL the time, but what is important is that we “recognize” our mistake, “learn” from our mistake, and try to “avoid” doing it in the future.
Also if you want people to treat with well and with respect then you must also treat EVERYONE well and respectful.
” Treat others how you want them to treat you ”
” Whatever you do goes back to you ”
I am referring to karma.
If you treat a certain person badly, then you will get back the same treatment and it does not have to be from the same person you treated badly. So remember to treat everyone well ( that’s if you want the same treatment, which I’m sure you do). I’m not telling you to live your life at all, I’m just telling you the laws of karma, the laws of living.
***After I’ve done all of this to have more confidence in myself, there was still something missing and it was not loving myself. I couldn’t fully relate to people on how they might think of me, so what I had to do first was love myself in order to love others.
You hear this once and you’ll hear it again and its true;
” In order to love others you must first love yourself ”
So everyday when you wake up remember to love yourself to get yourself through the day.
Don’t be worried if you don’t “receive” love because that does not bring you true happiness, “giving” love brings more happiness than receiving for “ones own”. But remember in order to give love you most first love yourself because there must be a root that the love must start from, which is yourself, and then it grows and spreads onto others like a tree.
So in your case don’t worry if people don’t love you back, just remember what will truly make you happy and get you through a day is if you love yourself and love others, no need to receive as long as were giving, this is the formula of happiness.
The only love one needs in this world is oneself, the rest are just a bonus. After one has the love for oneself THEN one can truly share it with others.
As for your situation with “eye contact”;
Whatever runs through your mind when you are having eye contact with someone know that these thoughts in your mind only exist within your mind. Our thoughts only exist in our 20cm sized heads lol. As I have mentioned before try to imagine every outcome that may happen to you when you have “eye contact” and just let it happen, let life happen.
Maybe this should work you.
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